Posts in Addiction & Recovery
How spiritual principles helped guide me in grief

I first heard about the “spiritual principles” when my son, Tristan, was active in Narcotics Anonymous (NA), learning to live in a way that granted him some peace in his daily life. We were both inspired by people who put these principles into practice and how—day after day, year after year, decade after decade—they became the foundation for a life very much worth celebrating. Despite the many challenges that some of these people faced.

Those spiritual principles are…

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A mother's recovery

I came to my own recovery sideways and unaware. I was simply following my son, as I always had; hovering behind him, ready to catch him when he fell. Toddler or teen, Tristan was pure energy and adrenaline, running full tilt at life. Until he smacked into a wall. As a teen, that wall was addiction and, despite my hovering, Tristan had fallen hard….

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A new me

I sat at my desk with a mug of steaming chamomile tea, my laptop open. I had an important deadline tomorrow and wanted to double check that everything was ready. I was rereading my report, looking for ways to clarify concepts and add more rationale to my recommendations when a shriek pierced the silence.

“Mom!” Tristan was yelling for me, wailing.

I ran to his room and saw him sitting on his bed, head in his hands, rocking back and forth. At fifteen he was slim and, wearing only his pajama bottoms, he still looked like a boy…

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How to help a friend who has a child in active addiction

Sometimes, it’s hard for parents to speak about their child who is in active addiction. Friends and family love to ask about our kids, but the usual, “How’s Joey getting along in university?”, or “How does Suzy like her new job?”, doesn’t land well when your kid can’t, in that moment, live up to what society expects of a young person. When somebody doesn’t know your child’s situation, it can be awkward and embarrassing to answer even the most innocent questions (“What’s Benji up to these days?). And if they do know, but don’t ask anything about them, it feels as if our child is overlooked; an embarrassment, not to be spoken of.

So, if you have a friend or family member who has a teen or young adult in active addiction, I know it’s not easy for you to make it easier for them. But I encourage you to try…

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Surrender

I lay awake listening to the chickadees. With all their predawn chatter, I usually wanted to wring their sweet little necks. Anybody who chirped so loudly at 3:30 in the morning deserved a good swat, I figured, and I would have been happy to oblige if only I had the energy to do it…

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What recovery looks like, for me

Someone recently asked me what “recovery” means to me. Meaning my recovery. Not my son’s recovery – though he was the one who brought recovery to our family. Not my daughter’s recovery – though it’s her recovery that’s laying a strong foundation for future generations. But my recovery. I haven’t struggled with addiction, myself, so how does that word apply to me?…

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Step by step

Tristan and I watched the other students frog-hop up the stairs. Feet together, crouched low on each step, they burst upwards to land on the next. Some swung their arms for momentum, but the more senior students held their hands in prayer position as they jumped. A few students were already on their way down, hands first —right hand on one step, left hand on the next—legs wide, in a bear crawl…

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